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Relationships: Letting Go of Problem Solving
"We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting
Do You Feel Free?
"…no one ever pushes you toward freedom You need to take that for yourself
Relationships: The Power of Good Will
Research into good marriages indicates that the most important choice healthy couples make is to have good will toward each other This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but good will toward each other
How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous?
"I know that my boyfriend loves me, but he has a lot of women friends I don't get why he has to have so many women friends
You're Not Meeting My Needs
"Sandra wants to end our marriage," Ted told me in our phone session "She says that I am not meeting her needs
Emotional Intimacy
Experiencing emotional intimacy with others is one of the most satisfying experiences of life Emotional intimacy, or a sense of deep connection with another person or a group of people, occurs when each person is completely open hearted and devoted to taking 100% responsibility for their own feelings and needs
Gratitude vs. Complaining
"All happy people are grateful Ungrateful people cannot be happy
The Wanting Mind, Part 1
"This force [that keeps us always wanting] is known in several Buddhist traditions as the Wanting Mind The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has
Is Your Relationship Suffering From Emotional Infidelity?
Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet
How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity
7 Step "Tongue-in-Cheek" Guide to Never Having an Experience of God
Are you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way
Problems Sleeping?
Insomnia is quite common in our society While there many different reasons for sleep problems - such as poor diet, too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, too much caffeine, or lack of exercise - I want to share two major causes and the solutions to these
Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames
Have you ever had an argument with someone - a partner, spouse, close friend, child, parent or other relative, or a business associate - that started small and spiraled into an intense conflict Have you ever scratched your head, wondering how it got so out of control
Are You Enmeshed With Your Children?
The Encarta World English Dictionary defines "enmesh" as "to entangle somebody or something in something from which it is difficult to be extricated or separated"
Are you entangled with your children in a way that is limiting both you and your children
Self-Help: Healing Your Broken Heart
Haley, 38, consulted with me because her boyfriend had just broken up with her Shocked and broken-hearted, she tearfully told me about how wonderful he was and about how she didn't know how she could survive this break up
7 Step Guide To Staying Completely Stuck In Your Life
Are you stuck in your life Do you receive some satisfaction from staying stuck and from no one being able to help you get unstuck
Fear Of Death
"The modern tradition of equating death with an ensuing nothingness can be abandoned For there is no reason to believe that human death severs the quality of the oneness in the universe
Marriage Advice: Love And Fairness
"Love has nothing to do with fairness Love is Love
Following A Child's Lead
How long should your child breast-feed
Should your child go to pre-school
Self Improvement: Leisure Time, Retirement Time
You've worked all your life and now you are looking forward to retirement How will you spend your time
Why Do So Many People Lack Integrity?
"By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascents to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descents below the level of the beast Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master
Relationship Advice: Be Willing To Have Your Partner Be Upset With You
As a relationships counselor, I often work with people who are unhappy in their relationship and thinking of leaving They believe that they are unhappy because of their partner, but the real reason is that they are not taking responsibility for their own feelings within the relationship
Love And Marriage: Do They Really Go Together?
Do love and marriage really go together like a horse and carriage For some they do but for many they don't
Saving Your Marriage When You Have Children
Research indicates that, unless there is violence in the home, children are better off being raised by an intact family Whenever clients who have children call to work with me on their marriage, I always encourage them to do all they can to save their marriage
8-Step Guide To Messing Up Your Kids
Most parents REALLY want to be good parents But since it is rare for parents to take parenting classes before becoming parents, we inadvertently do lots of things to mess up our kids
Marriage Help: If You Are Thinking Of Getting A Divorce, Think Again!
Are you thinking of getting a divorce because:
* Your spouse is physically abusive with you or with your children
* Your spouse is an alcoholic or drug addict and has no intention of dealing with the addiction
What Does Your Child Really Need From You?
Most parents want to be good parents Yet parenting is one of those things that does not have hard and fast rules
The Incredible Power Of Intent
Imagine two big spotlights One is pointed upward, casting light far into the air
Forgiveness: Acceptance And Letting Go
Have you ever noticed the difference in people who are able to easily let go of resentment and forgive, and those who stay in anger and blame
What I have noticed is that those who continue to stay in blame and resentment are often people who see themselves as victims of other people's choices
What Does It Mean To Have Integrity?
When I was in school training to be a psychotherapist, one of my professors introduced me to a concept that I find very valuable: "bad faith"
We are in bad faith with ourselves and others when we are out of alignment with what is true for "who we really are
Responsibility vs. Fault
In my counseling practice, I often hear people saying things like:
"It's my fault that she asked for a divorce If I hadn't worked so much, she wouldn't have left
When Not To Start A Relationship
Have you recently ended a relationship or are you recently divorced Are you thinking about dating again
Fear Of Failure
Failure What do you feel when you think about failure
What Should My Child Be Eating For Optimal Health?
Understanding healthy eating has become a huge challenge in our society Our ancestors living thousands of years ago did not have this challenge
Is The Law Of Attraction Bringing You What You Want?
Many people on a personal and spiritual growth path have read about the law of attraction Simply stated, this law says that like attracts like, which means, in a general sense, that happiness draws happiness and misery draws misery
The Challenge Of Good Nutrition
"Eat more carbohydrates"
"Eat more protein
Everyday Creativity
Do you tell yourself that you are not a creative person because you can't draw or play an instrument or write poetry I often hear many of my clients bemoan, "I'm not creative
He's Trying To Control Me
"I know what's coming when Robert says that we need to sit down and have a talk," Maryann told me in our phone session "He wants to tell me everything that is wrong with me
Intimacy With Yourself
Over the 40 years that I have been counseling individual and couples, I have very often worked with people who are considering leaving their marriage Often they say things like:
* I no longer feel close or intimate with my spouse
Marriage: Self-Care And Remembering The Good Stuff
Are you finding yourself irritated with your spouse lately Are you having problems remembering why you love this person - or why you even got married in the first place
A Major Cause Of Relationship Problems
We all know that relationships are very challenging 52% of married people reach their 15th anniversary and only 33% reach their 25th anniversary
Parenting Adolescents When You Have Changed The Rules
Marilee had grown up with very strict authoritarian parents, and decided that when she had children she would not be controlling with them the way her parents had been with her Unfortunately, the only thing she knew to do was to be a permissive parent, which meant that instead of controlling her children, her children controlled her
Parenting: Emotional Incest
Jacob, a participant in one of my telephone support groups, was exploring the fact that he generally didn't like to be touched He was sharing with the group a situation that used to happen with his mother
Dating: Why Are People Rejecting Me?
Aidan decided to consult with me because he wanted to get married and have a family A handsome man in his mid-30s, it was certainly not obvious at first glance why he could not find a partner
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